As I go on my training hikes every day, I am comfronted with something that I have left “undone” since my last big, international adventure – I never blogged about my final 3 days in Zambia.
Having something be left unfinished, incomplete, or undone, is pretty darn rare for me. I finish what I start. I am a continual “clean plate club” member and I will drink the last of the milk carton just to make sure that nothing goes to waste. I finish things. The fact is – I never posted a final blog entry on my blog in Zambia. I have been thinking for years why I never posted that final post. It isn’t because I didn’t write it, because I wrote it multiple times. I just never felt right.
It never felt right to say goodbye to the place, people, and experiences that I loved. “Goodbye” and “final” weren’t the right words. It wasn’t right to say goodbye because I knew that it wasn’t the end of my travels, just the end of a chapter. I knew that I would be coming back one day and I would have more adventures to tell. I didn’t know how to reflect upon my time there because I was continually changing how I felt. At times I would feel proud of my work there and then I would feel overwhelmed by the gravity of the issues. I even had stages where I wondered if it was right for any Westerners to be working there at all. I would feel that I did good and then I would think that I hurt those around me in the long run.
These conflicting ideas and reflections have made it extremely hard to publish that “final” post. So we will see what happens when Ryan and I finish our Grand Adventure. What will we say when we get back? How will we have changed our views? As I look at my gear splayed all out over the floor with 3/4 of my checklist checked, I wonder what this will all mean to me in 6 months.
Ryan and I leave in a week, so I guess I’ll find out soon enough.
WBR Zambia Blog Link – http://wbr2009.blogspot.com/
PS – The bungee jump that I did with Dan and Stan over Victoria Falls in Zambia snapped a few days ago. The girl survived… yikes
Current Location: Detroit, Mi